Momma's Life Is Still Teaching Us

Mom, 2005

     In just a ten days, it will be one year since Momma went to be with the Lord.  A year – and even though my grief isn't as intense and crushing as it was, most days it seems like Momma's passing just happened.  And I cry every day.   

     Through these months, so many people have given me counsel, support, and words of encouragement.  But none has been more comforting than my husband who has held me and let me cry regardless of how many times a day I have needed to.  He has never told me to grow up, get over it, or move on.  Instead, he has lovingly told me to grieve as long as I need to, to cry as much as I have to, and to talk about Momma whenever I want to.  He's as good to me as he was to Momma while she was with us.  He's my Hero, my Champion, my Love.

     He and I were talking the other day and we both agree that caring for Momma changed both of us in the best possible ways.  Being her caregivers was a special blessing the Lord gave us.  

Mom at her Grandson's wedding.

     And as we talked about Momma, it came to me that she not only lived a long life, but at 87 she had lived a lot of life and experiences: she grew up during hard times in the Coal Camps of West Virginia and saw her parents bury three infant children; as an adult she buried her father, her husband, her adult sister, her mother, her own son.  Momma was a cancer survivor, had to deal with us four kids and all the grief and heartache we gave her, and then she dealt with her own terminal illness.  

     And though she had every reason to be bitter, she wasn't!  She CHOOSE not to be bitter.  She choose to retain a sweet, loving, nurturing and kind attitude in spite of the heartache and disappointment that came through her life.  I know this because I saw her life every day, not just on special occasions when we were all with her, not just on Sunday when she was in church.  I saw her live out her commitment to the Lord and her humble, surrendered heart every day of her life right though the last hours of her earthly journey.      

Ruth Brooks and Mom in church.

     What a legacy of Christ-honoring love and her love for us!  It humbles me to think of that and what a strong, good person our Momma was.  She told me once that serving the Lord took a made up mind and settled heart.  I know now that it takes the same to not be bitter with life and it's heartaches, especially when the Lord's answer to prayer sometimes are "no", or "wait".

     Caregiver, regardless of whether your are just starting your journey, ending your journey, or somewhere in between remember that today is not your life for the rest of your life.  At some point on this walk, you will reach that place where the Lord will take your loved one to His Eternal Home and your path will be a totally different one.  Now while you have that loved one with you, do all that you can for them: give them your best, give them your time, your attention, your compassion, and especially your love.  When that time comes when they are no longer with you, you will not regret a thing you did for them – in fact, you will wish you had done more.  

     And when that time comes that your caregiving journey is over, it is my prayer that you will be blessed with someone that will be there along side you to help you through the broken-ness of no longer having that loved one in your life.  And that you will be wise enough to realize that you need their comfort and they need to be allowed to comfort you.

     Caregiver, even in your darkest moments remember that you are not alone.  Jesus promises to never leave us nor forsake us.  And He's just a prayer away.

     Stay on your knees, and keep looking up.

     Shared in love, 


                         Cris