Audella Bernice Grubb Evans

Mom when she was just a toddler.

Audella "Dell" Bernice Grubb Evans

Born into this earth on November 4, 1929 

to Bernard Basil Grubb

and Mollie Elizabeth "Lizzie" Dorton Grubb

Sister to Billy Joe Grubb, 

Helen Maxine Grubb,

Mary Elizabeth Grubb,

and Francis Lee Grubb Brown

Wife of Douglas Claude Evans, Sr.

Mother to "Bill" William Bernard Evans, Sr.,

"Cris" Crystal Elizabeth Evans Watson, 

"Chuck" Chester Glen Evans, Sr.,

and "Doug" Douglas Claude Evans, Jr.

Departed this earth on March 20, 2017.

     "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints." 

                                     Psalm 116:15

      During her earthly journey, she was a daughter, sister, cousin, niece, grand-daughter, wife, mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, great-grandmother, aunt, great-aunt, widow, Christian, friend, care-giver, encourager, teacher, nurturer, comforter, confident and a confidence builder.  She was loving, genuine, honest, caring, forgiving, giving, generous, a servant.

     Though she was all of these things and so much more, she was my Momma and truly my very Best Friend.

"Of all the hardships a person must face, none is 

more punishing than the act of saying goodbye."  

 Unknown  

Mom Christmas 2016, her last Christmas with us this side of Heaven.

First Anniversary of Momma's Home-Going

Momma's Sister, Francis Brown; their mother, Lizzie Grubb; and Momma

     Today is the first anniversary of Momma's home-going.  It is hard for me to grasp that it has been one year already, especially with the way I still miss her.  There is nothing that I do that doesn't in some way remind me of her and all that she taught me.


     Momma loved kids and working with them.  For years she worked as a Teacher's Assistant in the Chesterfield County Schools as well as being a school bus driver.  Often I would be with her in a store and a young adult would come over to her and smile and ask if she remembered them from school or from the bus.  And more often than not, she would remember them by name!  




     And she taught children in Sunday School.  They loved her there, too.  One young man, Steven Irby, was so attached to her that he refused to be promoted from her class!  His mother would find him sitting outside the door to Momma's class rather than going to his new class.  They finally decided to let him stay in her class, which he did faithfully until he was a teenager.  


     Momma also worked with the Ladies Ministry at her church.  She preferred to work behind the scenes and never wanted recognition for anything she did.  But from time to time, she would agree to speak to the ladies.  Her wisdom and insight into God's Word and her willingness to share what Jesus had done for her was always inspiring and comforting to those of us who heard her speak.


     She loved to cook.  It was her way of nurturing and caring for us.  Like her own mother, she could take a little bit of anything and make a full, delicious meal!  




     Momma was so artistic.  She did all of the bulletin boards for her teachers at school as well as in her Sunday School room at Church.

     She loved to do ceramics and not only did beautiful ceramic pieces, but taught classes in the craft as well.  She was a patient teacher and could make you feel like you could do it, too.  Such an encourager!

     My Mother taught me to cook, to sew, to crochet, to keep house, to love, to be loyal, to be faithful, to love and seek the Lord.  She taught by her life and her actions, not just her words.   




     But of all the things she taught me, Momma never taught me how to live without her.  I'm having to learn that one grief-filled day at a time.  



     Tonight Momma's dear friend, Dessie Myers, and I talked and remembered Momma.  She reminded me that Momma is in Heaven, that her soul is at rest.  Mrs. Myers also reminded me that it won't be long before we all will be with her, just a little bit further down this road and we will round the bend and be at Heaven's Gate ourselves.  

     My journey isn't over, and though I no longer walk with Momma, Jesus still walks with me as He did with her.  Just a little bit further, and there will be a bend in the road and then ... Heaven and no more parting, no more grief, no more tears.   

     Until then, I remember Momma, and I cry. 

                        Cris   

          My brother, Doug, gave Momma this Thomas Kincade calendar the last Christmas we had her with us.  It is still open to March and hangs in her bedroom just as it did last year when the Lord took her home.  I realized only today that the painting is a country path through a spring garden, and it reminded me of Momma's home-going on the first day of Spring and of the words of Mrs. Myers about the journey and the bend in the road.

Song Lyrics Shared With Me Today

Momma and her kids

     Tomorrow it will be one year since Momma's home-going to Heaven.  Can't believe it has been a year already; the emptiness in my life where her physical presence was is still so real and so painful.

     Today I was given the words to a song by the singer Enya.  It is titled "So I Could Find My Way".  I am sharing it with slight changes to the lyrics because it reminds me not only of my own Mother and the way she always put us ahead of herself, but all the mothers I have known and see every day as they nurture their children.

     Shared in love,

                            Cris 


"So I Could Find My Way" - modified

A thousand dreams you gave to me
You held me high, you held me high;
And all those years you guided me
So I could find my way.

How long your love had sheltered me
You held me high, you held me high;
A harbour holding back the sea
So I could find my way.

So let me keep my dreams of you
There upon that Heavenly shore;
So let me keep my dreams to you
Each night and ever more.

Yet only time keeps us apart
You held me high, you held me high;
You'll always be in the center of my heart
So I can still find my way.

You held me high, you held me high
So that … I could find my way.

Momma's Life Is Still Teaching Us

Mom, 2005

     In just a ten days, it will be one year since Momma went to be with the Lord.  A year – and even though my grief isn't as intense and crushing as it was, most days it seems like Momma's passing just happened.  And I cry every day.   

     Through these months, so many people have given me counsel, support, and words of encouragement.  But none has been more comforting than my husband who has held me and let me cry regardless of how many times a day I have needed to.  He has never told me to grow up, get over it, or move on.  Instead, he has lovingly told me to grieve as long as I need to, to cry as much as I have to, and to talk about Momma whenever I want to.  He's as good to me as he was to Momma while she was with us.  He's my Hero, my Champion, my Love.

     He and I were talking the other day and we both agree that caring for Momma changed both of us in the best possible ways.  Being her caregivers was a special blessing the Lord gave us.  

Mom at her Grandson's wedding.

     And as we talked about Momma, it came to me that she not only lived a long life, but at 87 she had lived a lot of life and experiences: she grew up during hard times in the Coal Camps of West Virginia and saw her parents bury three infant children; as an adult she buried her father, her husband, her adult sister, her mother, her own son.  Momma was a cancer survivor, had to deal with us four kids and all the grief and heartache we gave her, and then she dealt with her own terminal illness.  

     And though she had every reason to be bitter, she wasn't!  She CHOOSE not to be bitter.  She choose to retain a sweet, loving, nurturing and kind attitude in spite of the heartache and disappointment that came through her life.  I know this because I saw her life every day, not just on special occasions when we were all with her, not just on Sunday when she was in church.  I saw her live out her commitment to the Lord and her humble, surrendered heart every day of her life right though the last hours of her earthly journey.      

Ruth Brooks and Mom in church.

     What a legacy of Christ-honoring love and her love for us!  It humbles me to think of that and what a strong, good person our Momma was.  She told me once that serving the Lord took a made up mind and settled heart.  I know now that it takes the same to not be bitter with life and it's heartaches, especially when the Lord's answer to prayer sometimes are "no", or "wait".

     Caregiver, regardless of whether your are just starting your journey, ending your journey, or somewhere in between remember that today is not your life for the rest of your life.  At some point on this walk, you will reach that place where the Lord will take your loved one to His Eternal Home and your path will be a totally different one.  Now while you have that loved one with you, do all that you can for them: give them your best, give them your time, your attention, your compassion, and especially your love.  When that time comes when they are no longer with you, you will not regret a thing you did for them – in fact, you will wish you had done more.  

     And when that time comes that your caregiving journey is over, it is my prayer that you will be blessed with someone that will be there along side you to help you through the broken-ness of no longer having that loved one in your life.  And that you will be wise enough to realize that you need their comfort and they need to be allowed to comfort you.

     Caregiver, even in your darkest moments remember that you are not alone.  Jesus promises to never leave us nor forsake us.  And He's just a prayer away.

     Stay on your knees, and keep looking up.

     Shared in love, 


                         Cris 

Love, on Valentine's Day

Dad and Mom, 1976

     Our Pastor has said often there is no love like a Mother's love and it is probably closest on this earth to the love the Lord has for us:  unconditional, unending, faithful, and pure.  

     I saw that love in my Momma even before she came to stay with us and let me be her caregiver.  Momma was the giver and that always started in her over-flowing heart of love.  Her life lived for the Lord, her action of love and kindness, her compassion and love and concern for us is her testimony, her continued witness to us, even now that she is in Heaven.  The memories I have of all of that are so tender and precious and I thank the Lord for those memories.

     My Daddy was such a special person, too.  Hardworking, smart, such a dry sense of humor!  He grew up hard and wasn't comfortable showing us affection, but we always knew he loved us.  He was a great man, a great Dad, and he went to Heaven before I grew up enough to know just how great.  Even though he has been with the Lord 42 years now, I still miss him every day.

     I read recently that grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith, that it is the price of love.  On days like today when my heart is overwhelmed with missing Momma and Daddy and that longing to see them again, that price of love seems too high a price!  Yet, I would never want to even imagine what kind of life I would have today had I not know that love nor my precious parents.  

    I just miss them so!  

     Caregiver, do all you can for the ones you love while you can.  The day will come when all you have are memories – make those memories precious ones.

                                 Cris

A New Year Begins

     As a new year begins, I find myself still uncertain about what the Lord's purpose for me is now that I am no longer a caregiver.  And there is almost a dread because of the unexpected change in the family dynamic now that Momma isn't here to be the nucleus that drew us all together.

     What has stayed in my mind all day today is a quote from Dr. Jerry Falwell, "We live life looking forward, but we understand life looking back."

     I pray for the day that I will be able to wrap my heart around all this and understand.

     Until then, I will stay on my knees and keep looking up.

                                      Chris